Hugh: Yes, we'll dispense with the good mornings if you don't mind. I haven't
got time for good mornings.
Stephen: As you wish. Now, you wanted to discuss something, I believe?
Hugh: I think you know why I'm here.
Stephen: I don't think I do.
Hugh: (To Michael) Tell him.
Stephen: Tell me what?
Hugh: Tell him what you told your mother last night. Come on, come on, sexual
Michael: Sexual intercourse can often bring about pregnancy in the adult female.
Hugh: ...can often bring about pregnancy in the adult female, yes.
Hugh: You heard that, did you?
Hugh: Yes, well I'd like an explanation, if it's not too much trouble.
Stephen: An explanation of what?
Hugh: An explanation of how my son came to be using language like that in front
of his mother.
Stephen: Well I assume it's something that Michael's been learning in his
biology class, isn't that right?
Michael: Yes, sir.
Stephen: Yes, with Mr Hent. Glad to see some of it's sinking in.
Michael: Thank you sir.
Hugh: Well this is a turn-up and no mistake.
Stephen: What is?
Hugh: I didn't imagine that you'd be quite so barefaced about it.
Stephen: About what?
Hugh: I came here today to make a complaint about my son being exposed to gutter
language in the playground. I am frankly staggered to find that this is
something that he's actually been taught in a classroom. I mean what is going on
Stephen: Well we're trying to teach your son ...
Hugh: Oh are you? Are you indeed? Trying to teach him what? How to embarrass his
parents? How to smack himself with heroin, what?
Stephen: Mr Smear, I can assure you, we have no...
Hugh: Call yourself a school?
Stephen: I don't actually call myself a school, no.
Hugh: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Filling a young lad's head with filth
like that. Well let me tell you something. About the real world. You're here to
provide a service.
Stephen: Well, that's quite right.
Hugh: Well, that's quite right, yes, well I'm not happy with it. I'm not happy
with the service you're providing.
Stephen: Would you rather that Michael didn't attend biology classes?
Hugh: What, certainly I would, if those are the kind of lies I can expect to
hear repeated at the dinner table.
Stephen: They're not lies, Mr Smear.
Hugh: Oh aren't they? Aren't they, what? Sexual intercourse can bring about
pregnancy in the adult female?
Stephen: Well that's quite true.
Hugh: True my arse. It's nothing more than a disgusting rumour put about by
trendy young people in the sixties.
Stephen: Trendy young people in their sixties?
Hugh : The sixties. In the sixties. That's when it all started. People like you.
Stephen: I can assure you that sexual reproduction has been part of the biology
syllabus for many years.
Hugh: I don't care about your blasted syllabus. What good is a blasted syllabus
Stephen: Out where?
Hugh: Out there!
Stephen: The Arkwright Road?
Hugh: Arkwright Jungle, I call it.
Stephen: Well, what would you rather we taught your son?
Hugh : I would rather ... I would rather you taught him values, Mr ...
Hugh: Casilingua. Values. Respect. Decency. Standards. That's what you're here
for. You're not here to poison my son with a lot of randy sextalk.