This is one of the most shameful cases
ever to come before this bench.
ln all my years as a magistrate
l have seldom heard a tale
of such heinous iniquity.
- l...l...
- Be quiet!
This parasite can think of no better way
to end an evening's hooliganism
on the night of the University Boat Race
- (Doorbell)
- Uh!
(Doorbell)
(Muffled groan)
(Persistent ringing)
(Ringing continues)
l was sent by the agency, sir. l was given
to understand that you required a valet.
l...
Very good, sir.
Uh...
Mm.
Late night last night, sir?
- l...
- Mm-hm.
(Stirring)
lf you would drink this, sir.
lt's a preparation of my own invention.
Gentlemen have told me they find it
invigorating after a late evening.
l say! l...
l say! You're engaged!
Thank you, sir. My name is Jeeves.
l say, Jeeves, what an extraordinary
talent!
- Thank you, sir.
- Could one enquire what...
- l'm sorry, sir.
- No, no, of course not.
l'm not at liberty to divulge
the ingredients, sir.
No, of course.
Secrets of the Guild and all that.
- Precisely, sir.
- Mm
Ha!
Oh, erm, l say! l say, hello!
Hello! l want to get in.
You'll have to come this way, l'm afraid.
We can't shift him.
Oh. l was hoping to have
a snifter before lunch.
- Sound idea!
- Anyone in the bar?
- Barmy Fotheringay Phipps!
- ls he?
Oofy Simpson
and Freddie Chalk-Marshall.
- The Wooster twins, of course.
- What, Eustace and Claude?
- You know them?
- They're my cousins.
- You must be Bertie Wooster.
- l am!
- l'm Rainsby.
- How do you do?
You'd better come in.
Well, novel, that!
lt's not right, Mr Wooster.
l'm the one the committee's
going to blame for this, you know.
They can't abide mooses, they can't.
Oh, l think it adds a certain whatsit.
(Sniffs)
- Come on, Rogers, do give me a hand.
- Oh.
Here we go. Dash on!
- Morning!
- Oh, hello, Bertie!
Snorty, if you're gonna play with them,
play, will you, blast you!
Bertie! Cousin Bertie!
Did you meet young Dog Face
on your way in?
l met a Rainsby
in the hall with a moose.
- Elk.
- Sorry.
- lt's a common enough mistake.
- lt was a mistake pinching it.
- Where did you steal it from?
- Don't know, some big museum.
- ln Kensington.
- l've never been to Kensington.
Hello, Barmy! Yes you have,
your mother lives there!
- Oh, that Kensington.
- What do you want it for?
- lt's for the Seekers.
- What are the Seekers?
- lt's a club in Oxford.
- Eustace and l are rather keen to get in.
Rainsby too. But you have to pinch
something to get elected.
Now, at lunch, you very decently were
going to volunteer to stand us.
Er, can't be done, l'm afraid. l've got to
have lunch with our Aunt Agatha.
Oh, no! Not the Nephew Crusher!
- Bertie!
- Aunt Agatha.
Young men like you make a person with
the future of the race at heart despair.
Oh, right.
Cursed with too much money, you just
waste your time on frivolous pleasures!
You are simply an antisocial animal.
A drone!
Bertie, you must marry!
(Laughs) Oh, l say, really! Aunt Agatha!
Will you be quiet?
(Dog whines)
There, Mclntosh!
You want someone strong,
self-reliant and sensible.
No, l don't.
To counteract the deficiencies
of your own character.
And by great good fortune,
l have found the very girl!
- Oh? Who is it?
- Roderick Glossop's daughter, Honoria.
- No!
- Don't be silly, Bertie!
- (Dog barks)
- Sit down and eat your luncheon!
