Телешоу, ТВ-передачи на английском: A bit of Fry and Laurie - sex talk in class



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A bit of Fry and Laurie - sex talk in class

Stephen: Ah good morning Michael.

Michael: Good morning, sir.

Stephen: Good morning Mr Smear.

Hugh: Yes, we'll dispense with the good mornings if you don't mind. I haven't got time for good mornings.

Stephen: As you wish. Now, you wanted to discuss something, I believe?

Hugh: I think you know why I'm here.

Stephen: I don't think I do.

Hugh: (To Michael) Tell him.

Stephen: Tell me what?

Hugh: Tell him what you told your mother last night. Come on, come on, sexual intercourse...

Michael: Sexual intercourse can often bring about pregnancy in the adult female.

Hugh: ...can often bring about pregnancy in the adult female, yes.

Stephen: Yes?

Hugh: You heard that, did you?

Stephen: Yes?

Hugh: Yes, well I'd like an explanation, if it's not too much trouble.

Stephen: An explanation of what?

Hugh: An explanation of how my son came to be using language like that in front of his mother.

Stephen: Well I assume it's something that Michael's been learning in his biology class, isn't that right?

Michael: Yes, sir.

Stephen: Yes, with Mr Hent. Glad to see some of it's sinking in.

Michael: Thank you sir.

Hugh: Well this is a turn-up and no mistake.

Stephen: What is?

Hugh: I didn't imagine that you'd be quite so barefaced about it.

Stephen: About what?

Hugh: I came here today to make a complaint about my son being exposed to gutter language in the playground. I am frankly staggered to find that this is something that he's actually been taught in a classroom. I mean what is going on here?

Stephen: Well we're trying to teach your son ...

Hugh: Oh are you? Are you indeed? Trying to teach him what? How to embarrass his parents? How to smack himself with heroin, what?

Stephen: Mr Smear, I can assure you, we have no...

Hugh: Call yourself a school?

Stephen: I don't actually call myself a school, no.

Hugh: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Filling a young lad's head with filth like that. Well let me tell you something. About the real world. You're here to provide a service.

Stephen: Well, that's quite right.

Hugh: Well, that's quite right, yes, well I'm not happy with it. I'm not happy with the service you're providing.

Stephen: Would you rather that Michael didn't attend biology classes?

Hugh: What, certainly I would, if those are the kind of lies I can expect to hear repeated at the dinner table.

Stephen: They're not lies, Mr Smear.

Hugh: Oh aren't they? Aren't they, what? Sexual intercourse can bring about pregnancy in the adult female?

Stephen: Well that's quite true.

Hugh: True my arse. It's nothing more than a disgusting rumour put about by trendy young people in the sixties.

Stephen: Trendy young people in their sixties?

Hugh : The sixties. In the sixties. That's when it all started. People like you.

Stephen: I can assure you that sexual reproduction has been part of the biology syllabus for many years.

Hugh: I don't care about your blasted syllabus. What good is a blasted syllabus out there?

Stephen: Out where?

Hugh: Out there!

Stephen: The Arkwright Road?

Hugh: Arkwright Jungle, I call it.

Stephen: Well, what would you rather we taught your son?

Hugh : I would rather ... I would rather you taught him values, Mr ...

Stephen: Casilingua.

Hugh: Casilingua. Values. Respect. Decency. Standards. That's what you're here for. You're not here to poison my son with a lot of randy sextalk.

Stephen: Michael definitely is your son, is he?

Hugh: Certainly he's my son.

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