Angela. Are you kidding? He'll probably be asleep 'til Christmas. Hey,
everybody. The bellboy is here.
The bellboy's here! Oh, my God! Shit!
Chester. Happy New Year! Entra! Entra! Hey, bellboy!
Theodor. Mr. Rush, I'm sorry I'm late. But I, I think you'll find… I have
everything you need.
Chester. No problema, el bellboy. No problema.
Angela. His name is Theodore.
Theodor. Actually, it's not Theodore. It's Ted. It's Ted, sir.
Chester. So, Ted, the bellboy, would you care for some champagne as I was
saying? All right, that wasn't what I was saying. But would you care for some
champagne?
Theodor. Um, I'm on duty, sir.
Chester. Duty, smooty, come on. It's like, Cristal. It's the very best they
make. I didn't like champagne 'tiI I had Cristal. Now I love it. Come on!
Theodor. If I must, sir.
Chester. Yes. As I was saying, chin-chin. For our purposes, promptness is far
behind thoroughness. Drink up, lad. What do you say?
Theodor. Ah, thank you, sir.
Chester. No, not thank you. What do you say about the tasty beverage?
Theodor. Um, oh, it's very good.
Chester. It's fucking good, Ted. Fucking good! Let's try it again, shall we? Got
a light? Okay, so, Ted, what do you think about that tasty beverage?
Theodor. It's fucking good!
Chester. It's fucking Cristal. Everything else is piss.
Norman. Bellboy. Bellboy. Bellboy!
Chester. Shut up. Shut up! Shh! Shut up! You're makin' my friend Ted nervous.
Chill out, dude. Pay no attention to Norman here. He's just - That's from
Quadrophenia. He's just fuckin' with you. Now me, personally,
when I think of bellboy, I think of "The Bellboy" with Jerry Lewis. Did you ever
see that film, Ted?
Theodor. Um... no, sir.
Chester. Oh, you should. It's one of Jerry's better movies. He doesn't say a
word through the entire film. It's a completely silent performance. Now how many
actors can pull that off? I gotta tell you, that guy, he's gotta go to France to
get respect. That says it all about America right there. Just that one little
sentence says it all about America right there. The minute Jerry Lewis dies,
every newspaper in this fuckin' country… is gonna be writin' articles callin'
the man a genius. It's not right. It's not right and it's not fuckin' fair! But
why should that surprise anybody? When the hell has America ever been fair? We
might be right every once in awhile, but we're very rarely fair.
Theodor. Oh. Um... Where shall I put this, sir?
Chester. You in a hurry there, Ted?
Theodor. Uh, well, um... Not particularly.
Chester. Good there! Okay, then gotta stop playin' "Beat the Clock. " Okay. Let
me introduce you to everybody. Now, see that girl over there? All right, that's
our friend from downstairs. We just met her at the pool. You seem to be
acquainted.
Angela. Yeah, Theodore and I go way back, don't we, Theodore?
Theodor. Actually, the name's Ted, Angela. I only let people with loaded guns
pointed at my head call me Theodore.
Chester. The man sittin' in this chair with the Jim Beam in his hand, yellin'
"Bellboy" at you is Norman. Norman, say hello to Ted.
Norman. What's up, Ted?
Theodor. What's up, sir?
Chester. And the sociable son ofa bitch in that room over there is Leo.
